DARVO: The Home Edition
(A Masterclass in Reality Distortion for the Modern Narcissist!)
Welcome, gaslighters and blame-shifters! Have you ever found yourself cornered by those pesky little things called facts? Have you ever been confronted with accountability and thought, “Absolutely not, this is an attack on my freedom to be an unrepentant victim!”? Well, fear not—because now, for the first time ever, YOU can bring the power of DARVO into your very own home!
Introducing: DARVO—The Home Edition!
A high-stakes survival game where you’ll learn how to escape even the most airtight, logic-proof arguments with grace, cunning, and the moral integrity of a damp paper towel!
What’s Inside the Box?
🔹 Deny Reality: Comes with a pre-printed set of ready-to-use denials, including classics like:
“That never happened.”
“You’re making this up.”
“If I did do that, it was a joke.”
“You’re the real problem.”
“I don’t even care about this, why are you so obsessed?”
🔹 Attack the Accuser: Why defend yourself when you can go on the offensive? Comes with an automatic projection mechanism—just spin the gaslight wheel and launch random accusations like:
“You’re the real narcissist!”
“You’re so aggressive—why are you attacking me?”
“You need therapy, not me.”
“You’re making a fool of yourself right now.”
“I bet you treat all your relationships like this.”
🔹 Reverse Victim and Offender: This state-of-the-art victim costume lets you instantly transform from an accountable adult into a fragile martyr! Comes with pre-written scripts such as:
“I was only trying to help, but you just want to hurt me.”
“You’ve really shown your true colors.”
“I was being so patient, but you pushed me to this.”
“You just love to see me suffer, don’t you?”
🔹 Gaslight-Proof Mirror: Tired of self-reflection ruining your day? This special one-way mirror ensures that no matter how much evidence is presented, you will only see what you want to see—which is, of course, a faultless, misunderstood genius surrounded by haters.
BONUS FEATURES
💡 Ghost Mode: Automatically deletes past statements when confronted with them.
💡 Reputation Repair Kit: Spam any discussion thread with off-topic intellectual ramblings to make it seem like you were just having a “philosophical debate.”
💡 Courtroom Expansion Pack: For when your gaslighting performance needs legal theatrics! Includes frivolous lawsuit templates and pre-printed defamation claims!
Perfect for:
✅ Narcissists in crisis
✅ Serial manipulators
✅ Anyone whose self-image depends on never being wrong
✅ Armchair philosophers trying to look deep while dodging accountability
✅ People who think losing an argument is a human rights violation
But Wait—There’s More!
For a limited time, order now and receive the DARVO: Advanced Techniques Manual, featuring real-life examples from history’s greatest blame-shifters, including:
Julius Caesar’s assassins (“He made us do it.”)
King Henry VIII (“Why do my wives keep dying? So weird.”)
That one guy who always dominates Facebook arguments with random philosophy quotes
So what are you waiting for? Escape accountability today with DARVO: The Home Edition!
📦 Order now and receive a FREE copy of “How to Be the Victim Even When You Started It” absolutely free! (Just pay shipping and a tiny piece of your soul.)
💥 CALL NOW: 1-800-NOT-MY-FAULT 💥