The Concerned Citizen’s Guide to Moral Posturing
(Or: How to Pretend You Care While Actually Just Being Mad You Got Caught)
So, you’ve found yourself in an uncomfortable situation. A situation where someone (ahem, Mark) has dared to document reality. And worse—people are reading it. Engaging with it. Learning from it.
You must act fast. You must protect the narrative. You must regain control.
But how?
Fear not! Simply follow this five-step guide, and you, too, can master the fine art of moral posturing.
Step 1: Perform Outrage (But Keep It Vague!)
Your first move is to clutch your metaphorical pearls and gasp, “I am shocked—shocked, I tell you!—that this behavior has not been recognized by the system!”
💡 Pro Tip: Do not specify which behavior. Do not cite examples. Do not explain what “the system” is. Ambiguity is your friend.
If pressed for details, pivot immediately to:
“People feel this is wrong.”
“Everyone knows this isn’t okay.”
“This is obviously a problem.”
Remember, specificity is dangerous. It invites scrutiny. And scrutiny leads to accountability. Avoid at all costs.
Step 2: Invoke the “Real, Regular People” Defense
This is crucial. To give your outrage credibility, invoke a vague mass of “good, normal folks” who are supposedly appalled by what they are seeing.
✔ “These are real, regular people.”
✔ “Some people even feel compassion.”
✔ “Nice people wouldn’t approve of this.”
This achieves two things:
It makes you seem like a noble protector of the downtrodden.
It subtly implies that your opponent (Mark) is not a “regular person” and must therefore be some sort of monster.
🎭 Advanced Move: If you can, make an emotional appeal about one specific but nameless individual who has suffered greatly because of your opponent’s actions. (Bonus points if this person is actually just another narcissist who got caught.)
Step 3: Pretend This Is About Ethics (It’s Not.)
Now that you’ve established a moral framework, double down on the ethics angle. Say words like:
✔ “Slander.”
✔ “Bullying.”
✔ “Harassment.”
Use them liberally, even if they don’t apply. The goal is to sound serious enough that casual onlookers won’t dig deeper.
📌 Important: Avoid engaging with the actual content. Do not address the documented behaviors. Do not acknowledge the receipts. The moment you acknowledge evidence, you lose.
Step 4: Attempt to Redirect Attention
Now that you’ve stirred up just enough doubt, it’s time for the redirect.
🛑 Post a link to something your opponent has written. Not because it actually helps your case—but because you’re hoping people will be outraged without actually reading it.
❌ Do not say what is wrong with it.
❌ Do not provide counterarguments.
❌ Do not address the actual content.
Simply gesture toward it with a faint air of scandal and let the suggestion do the work.
Step 5: Declare Victory, No Matter What Happens
Regardless of how your argument is received, never admit defeat. If people agree with you, bask in your imaginary moral high ground. If people challenge you, dismiss them as biased, uninformed, or (gasp) part of the problem.
And if all else fails?
🚨 Play the martyr.
“Well, I guess some people just can’t handle the truth.”
“I’m just trying to help but people love drama.”
“I knew this would happen—people don’t want to hear hard truths.”
The important thing is to keep the focus on yourself and not on the facts.
Final Thoughts: Why This Always Fails
The problem with moral posturing is that it only works when people aren’t paying attention.
And unfortunately for you, Joel, people are paying attention.
They see the contradictions.
They see the manipulation.
They see the patterns.
And no amount of hand-waving about “real, regular people” will change that.
So go ahead. Keep posturing. Keep performing. Keep pretending.
The audience already knows how the show ends.