THE NARCISSIST'S GUIDE TO DAMAGE CONTROL
So, you've been exposed. Your tactics laid bare. Your carefully curated mask—cracked. What now? Fear not! This step-by-step guide will help you regain control of the narrative, evade accountability, and, most importantly, make the whole thing someone else’s fault.
STEP 1: PLAY THE VICTIM
You didn’t get caught—no, no. You were targeted. Someone (probably a bully with an obsession for truth) is out to get you. It’s persecution. A witch hunt! The real crime isn’t your behavior—it’s that someone had the audacity to document it.
💡 Pro Tip: Use vague but ominous phrases like “This won’t end well” or “I’m just documenting now.” Sound legal, even if you have no idea what you’re talking about.
STEP 2: THREATEN—BUT NOT REALLY
You need to sound scary, but not enough to be held accountable for an actual threat. The key here is veiled implications. Drop hints about lawsuits, family betrayals, secret dirt you've collected. You want them worried without giving them anything concrete to counter.
✔ “Wow—the things I’ve heard! I’m just documenting now.” (Translation: I have nothing, but I need you to think I do.)
✔ “You’re breaking laws now as a trend.” (Translation: I have no idea what law you broke, but that won’t stop me from saying it.)
✔ “It’s not the last of the notices you’ll see.” (Translation: I will send vaguely worded emails until I feel powerful again.)
STEP 3: GASLIGHT, GASLIGHT, GASLIGHT
Sure, there’s public proof of everything you’ve said and done. But facts are boring. Instead, rewrite history in real time. Convince bystanders that the person documenting your behavior is actually the problem.
🚨 Accusation Reversal Special:
✅ “You’re the real bully.” (Despite overwhelming receipts, let’s make YOU the villain here.)
✅ “You’re obsessed with me.” (How dare you remember what I said last week?)
✅ “People will see the narcissist, but it won’t be me.” (Quick! Say the word first before they do!)
STEP 4: DRAG OTHERS INTO IT
You know what’s even more effective than baseless legal threats? Social pressure. If you can’t win through logic or evidence (pesky things), try intimidation.
📌 “Certain family members would like to help this action.”
📌 “I’d imagine others will join me in ending this.”
📌 “We’ll see who else wants to make this a problem for you.”
(Translation: I have no power, so I need a mob to manufacture some for me.)
STEP 5: PRETEND YOU’RE HAVING FUN
Nothing says “I’m in control” quite like pretending you’re entertained. This isn’t affecting you at all! You’re not unraveling! You’re actually having the time of your life. You’re a fan of the person exposing you.
😂 “I find your writing amusing.”
😂 “I’m actually obsessed with it.”
😂 “It’s entertaining!”
(Translation: If I laugh enough, maybe nobody will notice how much this is getting to me.)
STEP 6: COUNT ON PEOPLE NOT CARING
This is your final defense. You need to bank on apathy. People are busy. They scroll fast. They don’t deep dive. If you muddy the waters enough, they’ll just assume it’s some petty argument and move on. Your job is not to win the argument—it’s to exhaust the audience.
Flood the thread. Fake legalese. Throw in some unrelated drama. Post emojis. The goal is chaos.
Because at the end of the day…
It was never about truth.
It was about control.
Final Note: If you find yourself needing to use this guide regularly, congratulations! You might be exactly the kind of person this was written about. But don’t worry—self-reflection isn’t necessary. Just keep doubling down and never, ever, under any circumstances…
Admit you were wrong.